Those who know me, know that I am not particularly religious, so when I feel like engaging in some creative blasphemy, I just go ahead and do it :). Here is the result of one such episode. What I did, was take Psalm 23 – “_The Lord Is My Shepherd_” (I think it was 23) and made slight modifications. I like German Shepherds, great dogs in my opinion, but I reckon that – sheopard – would be a much better way to spell it, gives it a certain zing. Anyways, I must have really needed a creative outlet at the time (I get that once in a while, must be an undocumented side effect of writing software), cause this is what I came up with :).
Lord Is My Sheopard
“Lord” is my sheopard; I shall not want – **another sheopard
** He lieth down in green pastures
and I leadeth him beside the still waters – **he is afraid of running waters
** He restoreth my soul – after a hard days work
He leadeth me on the path of rightness – **when we go walkies
** for his name’s sake – **we live on Lord’s avenue, funny that
** Yea, though I walk through the alley full of shadows at night
I will fear no evil: for though art with me – **he is a big freaking sheopard
** Thy big teeth and paws they comfort me – **noone is gonna mess with a big sheopard
** Thou sits at my table in the presence of mine enemies – **makes them nervous
** Thou put thy head into thy bowl – **has a big appetite as well
** Thy bowl runneth over – **hmm, should probably get a bigger bowl for him
** Surely goodness and mercy – _**that’s what my enemies will cry
**_ shall follow me all the days of my life – **try being mean to someone with a big sheopard for backup
** and I will dwell in a house with “Lord” for ever – unless they try and kick us out, but they probably wouldn’t dare, you try kicking a big sheopard and see where that gets ya
Well, there you go, now it will live on forever on the interwebs. All hail the Sheopard!!!
Image by Maurice Koop